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A Map to Nowhere.

‘Make a map to nowhere’ they say. 

 

I close my eyes and breathe.

This seemed like a fun idea yesterday: you search for the thing your partner ‘put’ at that famous X found at the end of the imagined dotted line. An item, a sound, a feeling, a wish. A pirate map of sorts. I wish I was a pirate. But with two eyes and two legs etc. A parrot would also be nice.

 

 

I feel the sweat trail slowly from my bra line straight down. Landing softly and absorbing into its surroundings. Delightful.

Fake enthusiasm?

If I had the energy I would have. But now. 3 days, little sleep, in a tent, I just nod, take the paper, and begin to draw.

 

The stubborn voices in my head. That’s the Aries side of me I’ve recently heard.

Apparently Astrology is still a thing.

 

My imagination is limited. I draw from knowledge. As I always do. As they constantly criticise. Fuck it.

 

I lead her to the Zen I found earlier. Under the tree. Perhaps it will make her smile. I’d like that...

 

Monika. Legs jittering. Ready for her adventure. I hand my rushed piece over, a small bit of warm glow on my insides (pleased?)

 

I receive mine in return.        Perhaps this will be fun after all.

                        A distraction from the heat.

                                Perhaps.

 

    I open it.

           

            Four.

           

                    Not one. But Four Fucking crosses to find.

 

        Fuck.




 

Breathe.

 

Well. We have lots of time. Perhaps she was being considerate! Filling in time.

So nice of her.     So nice..    yup.

                                Be Positive

 

The First X leads me to the dark woods. I find Emptiness.

Alone.

Lost.

Great.

 

Thanks Monika. A lovely reminder.

 

The Second X there is a wonderous tap of cold water! How did she know I was thirsty? Now I begin to suspect sorcery...Magician Monika! Magi Monika?

 

The Third X I find the exercise bikes - Okay. I get the hint. Tomorrow yoga    !

 

And so.

 

At the final X I find the words.

    Perhaps they are what I need. To put them down. Not just in the head. Solidly on the paper. To be rewritten? Later. But to realise that they may be interesting, useful, necessary,

Beautiful.

 

A map of my mind. Laid out clearly.

So perhaps worth it after all? Never able to admit of course.

Ha.

That darn Aries side again.  

 

 

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